2 Scientific Theories You Can Use to Explain Santa to Your Smart Kids

Patti MayonnaiseDecember 22, 2015888 Views
Image via CBC.ca Image via CBC.ca

Back in the day, explaining that jolly old elf with the big belly we like to call Santa Claus was pretty easy. It was all about magic and miracles and whatnot. These days, kids are so cynical and too worldly (with their unprecedented access to damn Google) to ever buy any of our “Christmas magic” crap. So you have to bring your best with this generation because they’re getting a bit suspicious of creepy old men sneaking about their homes in the wee hours of the night with large sacks of (hopefully) presents. If you’re kids are self-proclaimed geniuses (as most are,) we’ve got your back this holiday season covering all of the most complicated Santa related inquiries. Here’s the greatest answers to placate their curious little minds.

How Does Santa Clause Know Who’s Naughty and Nice?

 

Photo Courtesy of OddLovesCompany.com

Photo Courtesy of OddLovesCompany.com

With billions of children on the Earth, how is one expected to truly believe that Old Saint Nick can keep tabs on every last one of these hellions at all times. So how does he get it done? Have you never heard of the NSA? Oh, sweet child. Santa has a surveillance system that rivals even the most terrifying Orwellian nightmare at his disposal. He has every kind of technology necessary to observe your every last move at his very fingertips. Ranging from drones to mind reading computers, Santa has unparalleled access to them all!

How Does Santa Give All the World’s Gifts in Just One Night?

 

Photo Credit: Blogs.SeattleTimes.com

Photo Credit: Blogs.SeattleTimes.com

 

As we live in a world of space shuttles and Concord jets, many ask: how the hell could a dinky flying sleigh manage to soar around the world in just one night? Dear naïve little tykes, have you never heard of nanotechnology? It’s what makes Santa’s “magic sack” so important. Most scientists will lead you to believe that this technique of manufacturing goods atom by atom on a micro level is only in its earliest stages. However, it’s totally a thing which has been in use for many years now. Just check out the Physorg.com article which explains Santa’s bag is a nanotech factory which spontaneously creates your gift on the fly.

Patti Mayonnaise, January 26, 2016

    Superbugs and antibiotic resistant bacteria are difficult to treat. Some, completely u...

Patti Mayonnaise, December 24, 2015

Christmas miracles normally come in the form of families coming together against all odds or getting...

Patti Mayonnaise, December 21, 2015

Aside from the notable visibility of the International Space Station in the United Kingdom on Christ...